


Then and Now

by Rachel500



Series: Aftershocks [133]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, Friendship, Gen, S7 Aftershocks, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-02
Updated: 2011-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 01:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel500/pseuds/Rachel500
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TAG to Evolution</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then and Now

_Then_

The sound of the front door banging signalled Sara was home. Jack O'Neill flicked his cigarette sending the ash to the stained wooden deck. He sucked in another lungful of tobacco and blew it out in a long stream before stubbing the butt out on the railing and tossing it into a nearby plant pot. Sara had been on at him to quit again and he didn't want the argument if she caught him smoking; he figured there was going to be enough of one when she heard his new orders.

Somewhere in the dark a car door slammed and there was a yell of masculine anger. Jack tried to ignore it; base housing didn't leave a great deal of privacy. The thought prompted him to head back inside himself. He closed the back door and locked it.

'Jack?' Sara leaned a shoulder on the doorjamb and folded her arms over the smart blouse she wore. 'I wasn't expecting you back tonight.'

Jack shrugged. 'Wasn't a reason to stay.' The hearing was a formality; Jack hadn't seen a reason to hang around once he'd given his testimony. It wasn't as if Burke had given him a reason.

Sara crossed the room, placed her hands against his rough cheeks and kissed him. She pulled back and gave a chiding look that told him she'd tasted the cigarette. He kissed her again and folded her into him; nuzzling the back of her neck and breathing in the scent of her shampoo and soap as his hand nestled in her short blonde curls.

'Where's Charlie?' Jack asked. He'd missed his son. He hardly spent time with him as it was without missing another evening.

Sara hugged him and moved out of his embrace. 'Still at Sheila's. I had to stay late for a parent-teacher thing. I was just going to change before I picked him up.'

Jack nodded. Sara taught high school English. He loved that she was smart and sassy. Her job was going to be one of the reasons why she wouldn't be happy about the new orders.

'Hilary called.' Sara commented as she reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a soda. 'She says Andy's been offered an honourable discharge.'

Jack sighed and rubbed a hand furiously through his hair. Honourable discharge. He'd _known_ Burke would be out especially after Jack's testimony when he'd effectively put it on record that he knew nothing. But the confirmation Burke was out…hell.

Anger stirred in his belly again. What had Burke been thinking? What had Woods? They were supposed to have been watching his back not screwing around shooting at each other. The hell of it was Burke's story didn't add up but him shooting Woods on purpose made even less sense to Jack than the two of them both moving out of position when he was counting on them. Burke wouldn't tell him anything either which left Jack not knowing what to think. God damn it they were a team! Or rather they had been a team. The best, Jack had thought. But he'd been wrong.

'Cindy won't talk to them.' Sara continued, taking the top off the bottle and taking a long gulp of cold liquid.

'This surprises you?' Jack asked caustically. Burke had killed Cindy's husband. Cindy had a right to be mad. He could feel his fingers twitching; looking for another cigarette.

Sara pinned him with a look. 'What the hell happened out there, Jack?'

He turned away from her. 'You know I can't talk about it.'

Sara sighed heavily. 'Jack, they're _our_ friends. I do aerobics with Hilary and I carpool with Cindy, for crying out loud. We have weekly barbeques when you guys are home at the weekends and…'

'Not anymore.' Jack cut her off.

There was a deathly silence and Jack fiddled with the ornament on the dresser; some statuette of the Eiffel tower that Sara's Mom had picked up on a trip to Europe.

'Not anymore.' Sara repeated. He heard the thud of her soda bottle hitting the kitchen bench.

'I've got new orders.' Jack replied briskly, because hey, if she was going to be pissed at him, she might as well be all the way pissed. He picked up the envelope he'd tossed on the table and handed it over to her.

He looked out of the window into the back yard; aware of the crinkle of paper that gave away Sara was reading.

'NATO headquarters?' Sara asked incredulously.

'I deploy next week.' Jack informed her evenly. He glanced over his shoulder and saw her setting aside the envelope, a strange expression on her face. 'What?'

'I've been meaning to talk to you but with everything,' Sara's hand gestured vaguely in the air beside her. She shifted, shuffling her feet and fidgeting. 'My Dad called last night.'

'How is he?' Jack liked Sara's Dad. The old guy was firm and fair; liked fishing which gave them some common ground beyond loving Sara.

'He's worried about my Mom.' Sara said plaintively.

Jack was across the room again, hugging her before he had even thought about it. 'Hey, hey.' His lips brushed her forehead. 'Is Martha OK?'

'Yes,' Sara leaned into him, her own arms tightening around him, 'just tired, you know? It's only been a few months since she had the heart surgery and I think my Dad's struggling.'

She kissed Jack's cheek and leaned back against the kitchen bench. He kept hold of her while she worked out what she wanted to say.

Sara met his eyes, her own determined. 'I want to go home.'

To Colorado Springs where Sara had been born and raised; where Jack had met her as a brash Air Force cadet.

Jack sighed. 'Sara, I have…'

'Orders, I know.' She placed a hand on his chest. 'You have to go to Europe and I get that, I do. I knew when…I knew you'd be reassigned but…'

'You don't want to come with me.' Jack felt hurt; he couldn't help it.

Sara took hold of his face and kissed him fiercely. 'I'm always going to want to be with you, Jack. Just…I want a permanent home too.' She placed a hand on Jack's chest, her fingers pressing his dog tags into his skin. 'And then there's my Mom, and Charlie. He's ready for kindergarten. I don't want to drag him all over the world.'

Jack moved back an inch and kneaded the tight muscles at the back of his neck. 'I'd hardly see you.' Or Charlie, his mind supplied sadly.

'Petersen's on the door step so you can come back easily enough when you get leave.' Sara pointed out. 'And we can fly out for visits.' Her blue eyes pleaded with him.

And yeah; that was the kicker – because when had he ever been able to resist Sara when she really wanted something? He sighed again. 'You think we can make it work?'

Sara smiled brightly; the knowledge that she'd won shining from her eyes. 'We're the best. We can make anything work.' And when she kissed him, he believed her.

'OK.' Jack said. He kissed her again lightly and pulled away from her. 'I'll go get Charlie.' He walked out before she could argue.

Jack got in his truck and rested his head back momentarily on the seat cushion, taking a few minutes to brood about the change he'd just agreed to. He was going to miss having Sara and Charlie to come home to even if it was crappy housing on an Air Force base. But Sara deserved better and so did Charlie. Even Jack could admit he was hardly ever around and, if the shoe was on the other foot, he wasn't certain he'd be happy waiting alone on some base in the middle of some foreign country for Sara to come home. He leaned forward and gunned the engine.

Damn Burke and his 'friendly fire.' Why the hell had Burke shot Woods anyway?

o-O-o

 _Now_

Jack sneaked another look at Samantha Carter as they walked down the corridor. He let himself breathe a small inward sigh of relief. Waiting for her and Teal'c to get back from their mission to Tartarus had been torture. Not for the first time, he thought he might owe his ex-wife an apology. He really didn't know how military spouses did the waiting thing, and the not-knowing thing. He, at least, knew where Carter and Teal'c were and what they were doing while he'd been waiting, although now that Jack thought about it, maybe that hadn't been a plus. He remembered a number of scenarios that had gone through his head while he'd been tromping through the jungle trying to find Daniel Jackson.

But Carter had come through and brought her team home. And what a team, Jack thought wryly. As much as he liked Bra'tac and Jacob Carter, he much preferred missions without their all-knowing eyes watching his every move. In some respects he owed Burke for insisting on his presence in the jungle although Jack knew he had always been going to volunteer for the job. He understood that Hammond hadn't sent a military escort with Daniel and Bill Lee originally believing it was best to keep the search under the radar but he couldn't help thinking if there had been someone military with them, they might have avoided getting captured in the first place.

He leaned forward to push the call button for the elevator and frowned. Carter was nursing her arm in a way that hinted she was in pain, not that Carter would ever admit that she was in pain.

'You know we should probably get you to the infirmary before we do lunch.' Jack commented, wagging a finger at her arm and trying to hide his disappointment that their lunch date was delayed. Not a date, Jack reminded himself briskly.

Just lunch.

With a team-mate.

A friend.

Who he was head over heels in love with.

Sam grimaced but nodded. Oh, that was bad, Jack mused. She must really be in pain for her not to offer a token protest.

'How'd it happen anyway?' Jack asked, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets and rocking back on his heels.

'One of the super soldiers got into the cargo ship when we were making our getaway; knocked me and Teal'c on our collective asses.' She softened the harsh words with a sheepish smile.

Jack felt his gut turnover. Damn it. He should have been there. Of course, he couldn't have gone after Daniel and gone on the mission with the rest of SG1 unless he could suddenly be in two places at the same time – and he was so not thinking about being cloned because the clone thing had never worked out well.

'My Dad and Bra'tac trapped it in the rings and transported it outside.' Sam continued, smiling for real.

'Go Dad and Bra'tac.' Jack quipped. OK, so Dad and Bra'tac had their uses. They did have a way of turning up in the nick of time to save them. 'Dad going to heal that?' He pointed at her arm again and wondered absently where the hell the elevator was.

'Probably.' Sam shrugged and winced when it pulled on her shoulder. 'He didn't have the healing device with him.'

'Maybe he can do Daniel's leg at the same time.' Jack murmured.

'How'd that happen?' Sam asked with a smile that told him she was intentionally repeating his words back at him.

Jack clamped down on the urge to grin. 'He got shot.' He drawled instead.

Sam did the thing where she ducked her head to hide her smile.

'He managed to get himself and Bill Lee out of the shack they were being held in and was running away from the rebels.' Jack explained, giving her the details she wanted. 'He was fighting them off with rocks when Burke and I showed up.' He didn't try to hide his pride in that. Doctor Daniel Jackson had almost managed to rescue himself.

'Burke?' Sam asked, a line appearing between her brows as she clearly tried to place the name. 'Wasn't there a Burke on your…' she stopped abruptly, flushing pink.

'On one of my past teams which you know nothing about?' Jack completed, not bothering to hide his amusement when she rolled her eyes at him.

The elevator finally arrived and he waved her in, following after and pressing the button for the infirmary floor.

'Same guy?' Sam asked.

'Yep.' Jack said succinctly. He waited for the inevitable question but it didn't come and Jack sneaked another look at her. She wasn't going to ask him what had gone down between him and Burke, he realised. Maybe she already knew some of it – her hacking skills were second to none. Or maybe she just knew him well enough to know he didn't like talking about stuff. Possibly a combination of the two.

'It was good. Seeing him again.' Jack offered.

She looked over at him quizzically.

'He saved our asses which you know is always good.' Jack continued, faintly embarrassed at his unusual need to share. He should shut up now, he thought desperately.

Sam smiled at him as though she knew exactly what he was thinking. She probably did.

The elevator opened its doors and Jack ushered Sam out speedily, following her into the usual infirmary ward where they received their after-mission checks.

Janet Fraiser stood in front of Bra'tac glanced up from writing a notation on a clipboard and over towards the door. 'There you are, Major. I was beginning to wonder if you'd forgotten your post mission check.'

Sam's cheeks flared pink again and Jack resisted the urge to throw her an apologetic look since it was his invitation to lunch that had distracted her. He stepped in, waving a hand to draw everyone's attention to him.

'Elevator was slow.' He explained.

Janet directed Sam to a free infirmary bed and tsked under her breath at the sling. 'Nurse, we're going to need this x-rayed.'

'Can't Dad fix it?' Jack said loudly, staring in Jacob's direction. He gestured to where Daniel sat on a chair by Teal'c's bed. 'And Daniel too?'

Jacob's eyebrows rose.

'Don't mind me,' Janet said dryly, 'you know we might want to try conventional medicine first.'

Daniel quickly turned his laugh into a cough as Jack shot him a look.

'No offence intended, Doc,' Jack hastened out, 'but Dad's healing device means they can be back on full duty in days rather than weeks, right?'

'The Colonel's right.' Sam agreed.

'Thank you!' Jack said gratefully.

Jacob sighed. 'I'll heal Sam's arm later but she should get her head checked out first.'

'Because she agreed with me?' Jack asked faintly insulted.

'No,' Jacob said slowly as though talking to someone he considered dim-witted, 'because she smacked it off the floor of the cargo ship when the super soldier hit her.'

Jack grimaced and glanced at Sam concerned. 'You hit your head?'

'Let's change that x-ray to a CAT scan.' Janet said evenly, reaching into her pocket for her penlight.

Sam glared at her father. 'It was a bump.'

'What about Daniel?' Jack jumped in before father and daughter could get into a full scale argument.

'I'm fine.' Daniel claimed, smiling. 'I don't mind the crutches.'

'I can heal you tomorrow before I head back to the Alpha site with Telchak's device.' Jacob said firmly. 'Sam can help.'

Sam jerked her head out of Janet's grasp and frowned. 'What?'

'You need the practice using the healing device.' Jacob pointed out.

' _Colonel O'Neill to the control room. Colonel O'Neill to the control room.'_

Jack winced at the summons. He allowed himself one last quick glance toward Sam who smiled sympathetically. It looked like their plans for lunch were definitely scuppered. Jack turned and headed back out of the infirmary. He didn't hurry too much on the way to the control room; his knees still ached from the trek through the jungle to find Daniel and the long journey home.

'Sergeant?' Jack enquired as he entered the control room, taking in at a glance the usual level of activity for the middle of the day at the SGC – a couple of white-coated techs taking readings, the Sergeant firmly ensconced in his seat at the computer console. Siler was in the gate room performing some routine maintenance. Everything was normal.

'Phone call for you, sir, from a CIA agent named Burke.' Walter Harriman pointed up the stairs. 'The briefing room is free.'

'Thanks, Walter.' Jack said, heading up the stairs. He noted that the General's office door was shut and sat on the desk as he reached for the phone. He punched on the button to connect him. 'O'Neill.'

'Jack!' Burke's voice boomed down the line. 'Well, how about that, you actually gave me a real number.'

Jack rolled his eyes and took the jab. Burke had plenty of reason to think Jack would have bailed on his promise to help him. 'You wanted to talk to me or exchange another round of pleasantries?'

'Nah, wanted to thank you.' Burke said briskly. 'I've been transferred.'

'Great.' Jack was pleased that his request to the CIA via Hammond had yielded results so fast. 'Where to?'

'Washington field office.' Burke sounded slightly stunned. 'I'm a senior agent now.' He whistled. 'You must have some pull.'

'Wasn't me; I suggested Hawaii.' Jack felt compelled to point out.

Burke laughed. 'Well, thanks…'

'You should have told me.' The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and Jack rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. 'You should have told me back then and I would have…'

'Ended up in the shit with me, Jack.' Burke cut him off briskly. 'Look, we're good now, right?'

'Yeah.' Jack sighed.

'Your friend OK?' Burke asked, changing the subject.

'He's alive.'

'That's the important thing.' Burke agreed. 'Take care of yourself, Jack. From what I saw…you're dealing with some crazy shit, man, just crazy.'

The dial tone sounded before Jack could reply and he replaced the phone with another heavy sigh. A part of him knew Burke was right. If he'd known about Woods back when the mission had gone sour and had backed Burke up…it might have gone badly for both of them. Jack tapped the phone thoughtfully. At least Burke was being treated as an asset again; that had to count for something.

'Colonel?' Hammond's voice dragged him out of his thoughts and he looked up to find the General looking at him from his office doorway. He motioned for Jack to follow him into the small cosy room.

Jack closed the door behind and took up his usual position in front of Hammond's desk. 'Sir?'

'That your friend on the phone?' Hammond asked.

'He's been transferred to Washington.' Jack said, rocking back on his heels.

'Good.' Hammond sat down heavily in his chair, the leather creaking under his weight. 'Doctor Fraiser has called me. She's requested that we push back the debriefing until her medical checks are completed.'

Jack felt his lips twitch. The CMO was one of the few people who could override Hammond and everyone knew her requests were polite code for orders.

'I wanted to get your input on an assignment.' Hammond noted, leaning back and clasping his hands over his stocky belly. 'The Colonel assigned to perform the SERE training for the 302 pilots has had a heart attack; it looks like he'll be medically discharged. I thought about using Colonel Sumner to fill the gap.'

'Be a good fit.' Jack commented. Marshall was a Marine and ex-Special Forces, the same as Jack. He was old school but a good man; a good soldier. He wouldn't take any crap from a bunch of 302 pilots more used to the air than the ground either.

'That's what I thought.' Hammond frowned, his round face creasing with concern. 'In the absence of us making a decision, the Marine Commandant is pressing for Sumner to be made commander of the Prometheus once she makes it home.'

Jack grimaced. 'And I would say that's not a good fit.'

Hammond gave a huff of laughter. 'No, and luckily General Vidrine is in agreement. We'd like to keep the ship commander positions to Air Force personnel.'

'We still need someone to oversee Beta site.' Jack pointed out. 'If Sumner takes the SERE training, he'd be good to set-up the 302 training facility there.'

Hammond nodded thoughtfully, the light glancing off his bald pate. 'He gained good experience on the Alpha site before his late wife's accident.' He sat forward decisively. 'Thank you, Colonel.' His pale blue eyes caught Jack's. 'One more thing.'

'Sir?'

'Colonel Ronson is still pressing for Major Carter to accompany the Prometheus back to Earth. He points out that Doctor McKay doesn't have the deep space experience that the Major has.' Hammond paused.

'Isn't Carter needed to help with this Telchak device thing?' Jack pointed out brusquely. Ronson had been trying to get Carter onto the Prometheus' crew since he'd taken command of it. Jack would be more annoyed but he couldn't fault Ronson's appreciation for Carter's skills and experience, and Jack knew Carter had no plans to leave SG1. 'I'm not sure we can spare her at the moment, sir.'

'Very well.' Hammond agreed mildly, although Jack could tell that Hammond didn't completely agree with Jack's view. Still, Hammond hadn't overruled him which meant that the part that did agree with Jack was holding sway. 'That's all, Colonel.'

'Sir.' Jack made his way out.

The glimmer of eerie blue light across the observation window halted Jack's step. SG8 were walking through the open wormhole, returning home from their mission – a check-up on the Land of Light. Jack shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his pants, captivated by the shimmer. The Stargate had given him a second chance; Burke deserved a second chance too. Jack only hoped he made the most of it.

o-O-o

 _Then_

The pen hit him square on Daniel's chest and had him blinking rapidly behind his thick-framed glasses.

'You're not even listening to me.' Robert Rothman exclaimed with an exasperated sigh. He sat back on his heels, squishing his sleeping bag further into disarray as he tried to get into a comfortable position.

Daniel hadn't been listening. He'd been preoccupied with his research and the outcry at his latest article. OK, so his theories are a little out there but they are based on sound thinking and even some actual evidence so why…another pen hit him. 'Sorry, Robert.'

'No, you're not.' Robert sighed and reached into his backpack. 'I hate Egypt. Why did I agree to accompany you on this dig again?' He waved his inhaler at Daniel. 'And please tell me that you were thinking about your insanely hot girlfriend and not Steven Rayner's critique of your article.'

'I don't have an insanely hot girlfriend.' Daniel muttered, aware of the red stain heating his cheeks. He was just grateful that the camping light wasn't bright enough to show it. He adjusted his glasses and looked away.

'Hello?' Robert stared at him. 'Sarah Gardner? Freakishly brilliant English postgrad with the most gorgeous…'

'Robert.' Daniel cut him off sharply. 'We broke up.'

'You did?' Robert used his inhaler before he repacked it and frowned at Daniel. 'What did you do?'

'Why do you assume it was something that I did?' Daniel asked tersely, flopping down on top of his own sleeping bag with a huff.

'Please.' Robert said dryly. 'That woman adores you.'

Daniel felt another rush of guilt swamp him. 'I might have, uh, forgotten an anniversary or a birthday or something.'

Robert sighed expressively.

'I was working!' Daniel said defensively. So he got absorbed in his work and forgot things; everyone did, didn't they?

Robert snorted. 'You know there is more to life than work, Daniel.' He shuffled into his sleeping bag. 'So you were thinking about Rayner's article?'

Daniel sighed and placed his hands behind his head as he stared up at the nylon ceiling above his head. 'Steven doesn't get it.'

'Steven doesn't want to make waves.' Robert rejoined. 'Unlike some other academics I could mention.'

'I don't want to make waves,' Daniel denied heatedly, 'I just want to know the truth.'

'You have to admit that your last article was a little…out there.' Robert turned over to look at him. 'You came dangerously close to agreeing with those pseudo-archaeologist types that think the pyramids are landing pads for aliens even if you didn't say it explicitly.'

'Well, at least you have the decency to make the differentiation between implicit and explicit unlike Steven.' Daniel complained. He knew Steven didn't like him much but his critique of Daniel's article had been an all-out academic attack.

'Steven hates you.' Robert sighed as though Daniel had missed something. 'He hates that your Jordan's golden boy and that you got Sarah when he couldn't get past first base and never will. He wants tenure and recognition and…'

'And to ignore the truth.'

'Daniel, you had a couple of old papyrus tales and made some pretty bizarre leaps.' Robert argued. 'I wouldn't have agreed with you in print either.'

Daniel sighed. 'I think there is evidence of an older civilisation that we're ignoring…'

'Please do not bring up the Atlantis myth again.' Robert pleaded.

Daniel ignored him and continued. '…because nobody wants to dig deeper.'

Robert laughed and Daniel realised the pun a second later.

'Well, we're not going to find anything on this dig.' Robert said when he finished laughing. He scrubbed a hand through his shaggy black beard. 'I'm not even sure why we brought security.'

'The university insisted on it for insurance purposes. There've been reports of bandits operating in this area.' Daniel murmured absently.

'Right, now he tells me.' Robert complained. 'Although a bandit raid may have livened things up. We haven't found anything interesting at all.' He wriggled in his sleeping bag. 'The interns are complaining.'

'They all want it to be like Indiana Jones.' Daniel sighed heavily. 'Personally, I'd prefer not to be held at gunpoint or have to run for my life.'

'Me too.' Robert threw another pen at him. 'Come on, turn off the light and let's go to sleep. We have another day of digging up nothing to look forward to tomorrow.'

Daniel reached over and thumbed the light switch. The tent darkened immediately. The sound of the wind against the nylon was loud in the silence; the fleeting pitter-patter of sand hitting the tent and falling away again. Daniel knew he shouldn't let Steven's derision get to him. Daniel knew he was right and Steven was wrong.

He winced. God, he sounded just like his grandfather. Daniel took his glasses off and placed them carefully away from him where he wouldn't accidentally roll into them in the night. Robert's snore had him grimacing and he closed his own eyes. He didn't want to do what Nick had done; skip from one outrageous theory to another; crystal skulls and Fountain of Youth quests. But he knew he was right. He knew deep down that there was more to the Egyptian civilisation than what filled every high school text book. He just had to find some way of proving it.

o-O-o

 _Now_

Daniel propped up his leg on the low stool and let the groan he'd been holding back hiss between his teeth. He was disappointed if he was honest that Jacob's symbiote Selmak wasn't going to heal him along with Sam but then, Jacob and Selmak had both looked tired at the debriefing so maybe he could understand. He could wait one more day even if it did mean staying on the base again. He really needed to order an actual bed for his new house.

A sharp knock on his open office door had him turning to greet his visitor. He smiled at the sight of Bill Lee.

'Hey.' Daniel waved him in and noted the lack of Bill's ubiquitous lab coat that he wore around the SGC. Instead, there was a heavy puffy jacket over Bill's denim jeans and checked blue shirt. 'You finished for the day?'

'Well, Jacob Carter will be taking the Telchak device to the Tok'ra so I don't have anything left on that and Doctor Heightmeyer suggested that I take some time after off…well, you know.' Bill gave an unhappy shrug and shoved his hands into his pockets.

Daniel smiled sympathetically. 'That's probably a good idea.'

Bill sighed and slumped onto the stool at the end of the central bench. He took one hand out of a pocket and rubbed his forehead. 'Doctor Heightmeyer also thought it would be a good idea for me to talk to you.'

'OK.' Daniel tried hard to ensure his discomfort about that idea didn't show on his face. He didn't know the civilian psychologist that well. Despite their history he preferred sticking with Doctor Mackenzie when he was forced into seeing someone – maybe because of their history.

Bill sighed heavily and avoided his gaze. 'I feel like I let you down.'

Daniel's eyebrows rose over the top of his glasses as he took in Bill's defeated air. 'Bill…'

'I just…lost it.' Bill continued, speaking over Daniel's attempt to reply. 'I talked…I gave up…I hid like some scared animal while they chased after you and shot you.' He waved at Daniel's leg. 'I was a complete liability out there.'

'You weren't a liability.' Daniel lied briskly.

Bill simply looked at him in disbelief.

'You were kidnapped and tortured, Bill.' Daniel said gently. 'Nobody excels in those circumstances.'

'You did.' Bill said. 'You held it together; you got us out.'

'I was just as scared as you were,' he admitted slowly, 'I'm just more used to getting kidnapped, tortured.' He waved across to Bill. 'Although being chased through jungles by zombies is a new one for me.'

Bill's lips twitched into a reluctant smile. 'Well, it does complete the whole Indiana Jones image you have going on. They'll probably base the next movie off your work.'

'I really hope not.' Daniel said with a short laugh. He could just imagine it though; crystal skulls and aliens with dodgy special effects. 'Look, Bill,' he shifted around on his own stool, trying to keep his balance with his leg propped up at an awkward angle, 'I've had how many years in the field now?'

'I've been in the field too.' Bill countered.

'But mostly on scientific teams where the planet has already been designated safe or where you've had a full military escort.' Daniel frowned. 'Actually, I'm not sure why General Hammond didn't send one of the Marines with us.'

'Probably to prevent exactly what happened.' Bill said absently. 'A Marine would have drawn more unwanted attention.'

Daniel bit his lip and wondered if he was responsible for drawing attention to himself and Bill. He knew he moved more like a soldier than an archaeologist after so many years on SG1. He kept himself in shape; trained with Teal'c; went to the range with Sam or Jack every week. Maybe he was the reason why they'd been targeted.

'Besides, it wouldn't have mattered,' Bill continued oblivious to Daniel's thoughts, 'they probably would have shot them like they did our guide.'

'He's OK, you know, Rogelio.' Daniel assured him. 'The SGC is picking up his hospital bill and everything.'

'That's good, that's good.' Bill agreed.

'Anyway, the point I was making is that you don't have the same experience as I do so it's not fair to judge your actions by mine.' Daniel said kindly. 'I remember when I first started out, Sam used to throw herself over me to protect me when we were under fire and I used to let her.'

'Really?' Bill blinked at him, clearly astonished.

'Really.' Daniel confirmed. 'So, don't beat yourself up about this. You did the best you could.'

'Thank you.' Bill said gratefully. He stood up. 'Huh. How about that? I actually do feel better.'

Daniel looked at him quizzically.

'To be honest I thought Doctor Heightmeyer was full of hot air.' Bill explained with a wry smile. He heaved a sigh. 'I should get going if I leave now I might be in time to put the kids to bed.'

'Take care, Bill.'

Bill gave a small wave and headed out.

Daniel heaved his own sigh of relief. He turned back to the journal at his desk. It was his grandfather's; the one Nick had completed about the Fountain of Youth; the journal that had led Daniel to Telchak's device.

His grandfather had been proven right in the end about his theories, living out his life with the Giant Aliens he had discovered. Daniel was proud of him; proud to be his grandson; proud to have taken after Nick and followed his heart. Daniel had also been proven right about Ancient civilisations in the end; about there being more to Egyptian history than a series of dynasties.

Daniel closed the journal with reverent care and got to his feet. He limped over to the bookcase and slid it back into its usual place. His fingers lingered for a moment on the spine and he smiled, thanking Nick silently for the help before he limped back and reached for the next puzzle to solve.

o-O-o

 _Then_

Teal'c spun and blocked Bra'tac's blow with his own staff; he parried and thrust forward, only to hurriedly step left as Bra'tac batted Teal'c's staff away as though it was nothing more than an annoying dringbat and drove towards him with another sharp thrust. A few blows later and Teal'c was on his back staring up at the night sky, his breath sending white clouds of air through the dark.

'You are distracted.' Bra'tac said. His tone was even but Teal'c felt the sting of his mentor's disapproval.

'Yes.' Teal'c knew to deny it would only result in another demonstration that he was.

Bra'tac harrumphed; a thread of amusement in the sound. He held out his hand and Teal'c grasped Bra'tac's forearm firmly, allowing the older Jaffa to pull him to his feet.

'Thank you, old friend.' Teal'c said formally. He reached down and picked up his fallen staff.

Bra'tac leaned heavily on his own. 'I heard of the massacre.'

Teal'c stiffened. 'I could do nothing to prevent it.' Apophis had been determined; nothing could sway him and Teal'c had come too close to incurring the Goa'uld's wrath.

'You tried.' Bra'tac stated, although he could not have known for certain as he had not been with the fleet.

'It was not enough.' Teal'c admitted reluctantly.

Bra'tac's hand grasped his shoulder. 'You can only try, Teal'c. Who knows this better than I?'

Teal'c inclined his head in silent agreement. They wore matching gold tattoos as Bra'tac had been Apophis's First Prime before him; Bra'tac knew only too well of the Goa'uld's disregard for life other than its own.

'You must have patience, Teal'c.' Bra'tac cautioned. 'The System Lords are restless in the wake of Ra's disappearance. They know it creates confusion among the slaves.'

Because if Ra could disappear, could die, the Godhood of all Goa'uld could be questioned. Teal'c felt a stirring of hope. Perhaps Ra had been defeated as was the rumour. No doubt one of the other Goa'ulds would claim the victory, Teal'c thought sourly, possibly even Apophis himself although Teal'c knew he had not ventured near Ra's territory for many decades.

'This is why Apophis refuses to show mercy at present.' Bra'tac said. 'It will pass.'

'We lost over one hundred Jaffa.' His words dripped with disgust.

Bra'tac's eyes widened. 'That many?'

'He did not care we had troops on the ground when he ordered the gliders attack.' Teal'c bit out. 'They were acceptable losses to him.'

'To all Goa'uld.' Bra'tac murmured. 'You know we are nothing more than assets to be used and deployed as is their will, Teal'c.'

'We are their power.' Teal'c growled. 'They would be nothing without us.'

Bra'tac sent Teal'c a warning look and glanced around the clearing. Teal'c was certain that there was no-one there; he would not have commented if he had thought otherwise.

'As long as we are dependent on them for our lives, we will not be free.' Bra'tac said quietly.

Teal'c glowered but he could not deny the truth of Bra'tac's words.

'Go home, Teal'c.' Bra'tac shifted back and hoisted his staff. 'Take solace in your wife and son.'

Teal'c lowered his head in acquiescence. He wrapped his cloak around himself but looked up to the night sky instead of following Bra'tac down the path to the settlement.

He could not suppress the small hope that had flared to life with the news of Ra. If the Goa'uld could be defeated then perhaps one day the Jaffa could be free. One day.

o-O-o

 _Now_

The Marine hit the mat with a thump and groaned.

Teal'c offered him a hand and the Sergeant climbed to his feet with a chagrined smile. 'You need to practice.'

The Sergeant gave a nod and bowed. Teal'c returned it, knowing it signalled the end of their sparring match. He looked around the gym for another contender and found Bra'tac watching him from the doorway.

'Master Bra'tac.' Teal'c gestured at the mat in invitation.

Bra'tac shook his head decisively. 'I am not so foolish as to spar with you in this mood, Teal'c, unlike these striplings.' He raised an eyebrow. 'We will take a walk. I understand it is almost sunset outside and I have yet to see this.'

Teal'c felt a flicker of resentment but inclined his head, unable to deny Bra'tac his wish nor his summation of Teal'c's mood. He picked up his towel and rubbed the sweat from his arms and neck as he walked over to the door.

The elevator ride to the top of the Mountain was made in complete silence. They stepped out into the crisp and cold Colorado air. Teal'c shivered as they made their way into the clearing leaving the security guard behind by the entrance. He wondered if his wish for outer clothing over his vest signalled he was getting old and weak or old and wise.

The sky was a stunning lilac; the golden sun dipping into the horizon and bleeding out a stream of colours across the azure. The pale partial globe of the moon hung in the far corner of the sky.

Teal'c breathed in the scent of pine and grass; the earthy dirt beneath his feet; the faint tang of fuel from the vehicles on the roads below and the sky above.

'It is beautiful.' Bra'tac said reverently. 'This planet of the Tau'ri.'

'Yes.' Teal'c said.

'Yet I believe I still prefer Chulak.' Bra'tac admitted with a sigh.

'As do I.' Teal'c confessed. He would always have a preference for the planet that had raised him; for the planet where his mother had died; where he had met Sho'nac and Drey'auc; where Rya'c had been born. But even knowing that he would return to it one day, sometimes he struggled to think of it still as home.

Bra'tac patted his shoulder. 'What troubles you, Teal'c?'

Teal'c simply raised his eyebrow.

Bra'tac's face brightened with amusement, the dark eyes gleaming with laughter. 'You are concerned about Anubis's new super soldier.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c confirmed. He placed his hands behind his back and looked out at the darkening sky.

'They are formidable.' Bra'tac acknowledged.

Teal'c did not comment. Bra'tac was only too aware of the advantages the super soldiers had over the Jaffa; over the humans. If other Goa'uld followed Anubis's example and replaced their Jaffa armies with super soldiers…

'Do you remember when Apophis captured O'Neill and the others that first time?' Bra'tac began in a conversational tone that did not fool Teal'c at all. 'I told you not to be rash; that it would be foolish to trust them.' He snorted. 'Yet you insisted on following your own path.' He turned and held Teal'c's gaze fiercely. 'You were right, Teal'c. Because you made such a leap of faith, Apophis is now a dead False God. Our children will no longer have to rely on the Goa'uld to live now we have tretonin. There are Jaffa who live free and who fight so all Jaffa will be free.' He paused. 'And the Goa'uld search to replace the power they have lost by creating something else just as they once created the Jaffa.'

Teal'c repressed the urge to sigh at how well Bra'tac knew him. He had only just begun to acknowledge his feelings of guilt at the existence of the super soldiers yet he also knew he would not trade the Jaffa's freedom to eliminate them.

'We will defeat these super soldiers of that I am certain.' Bra'tac said firmly. 'I believe Major Carter and Selmak are already conferring on what possible weapons could be derived from the device Daniel Jackson discovered.'

'You speak wisely, old friend.' Teal'c said softly.

Bra'tac smiled at him. 'Come, Teal'c. I am in need of food and I have not yet had a chance to update you on mine and Rya'c's last visit to Hak'tyl.'

Teal'c felt his spirits lift a little. He looked forward to news of Ishta and her people; of his son. He let himself be led back into the Mountain. He cast one last look at the Earth sky. The Jaffa had come so far; he would not let the super soldier destroy the fight for their freedom.

o-O-o

 _Then_

Sam stared at the briefing file in front of her; incredulity, excitement, disappointment and anger rushing through her in relentless mixed up waves that stole her breath and voice.

Bastards.

Goddamn bastards had got the Doorway – no, the _Stargate_ – working. Thanks apparently to the linguist guy that Catherine Langford had brought in as the last resort. Doctor Daniel Jackson had cracked the code within days of Sam's departure from the mountain and they'd actually created a wormhole to another planet. A wormhole! And a team had gone _through_ it.

Without _her_.

Envy filled her up and she swallowed hard against the sudden sour taste of it in her mouth. She glanced up at the General sitting at the end of the table and had to lower her gaze again to hide her anger.

Had West done it deliberately? Had he pulled her from the project because he wanted her out of the way? According to the information in the file, he'd brought in the Kawalsky guy the day after she'd been reassigned; O'Neill a week after, damn it. She hid her fisted hands in her lap.

It should have been her going through the wormhole. _Her._

General West leaned forward over the briefing table. 'The reason why we recalled you, Captain, is that we want to test whether this Stargate can be connected to another outside of the Abydos gate.'

Against the recommendation of Colonel O'Neill who had signed off his report with the terse phrase 'bury the damn thing.' Not that Sam thought West would appreciate her raising that.

Sam dragged her mind back to the meeting, pushing her feelings into the background to be dealt with later. 'Theoretically, it should be possible. I mean, there are more symbols on the ring than those discovered on the cover stone and now we know the symbol which designates the position of origin, we know we need to recombine…'

'You start tomorrow morning.' West cut in.

'Sir,' Sam hurried out, 'I don't think you realise that the number of potential permutations that we're looking at; even removing the point of origin symbol, there are thirty-eight different symbols which need to be placed into a six symbol combination and…'

'I get your point, Captain.' West interrupted again. He frowned and tapped his fingers restlessly against the polished wood. 'Fine. Designate a test sample. You have a week.'

Sam did the calculations in her head; the power outputs needed, the time required between each test, the number of hours in a day – they could test hundreds of permutations. Hopefully, one of the combinations would connect. She took a deep breath. 'Sir, if we do find another viable address, I'd like to request permission to be part of the next team to go through the Stargate.'

West grimaced and shifted in his chair. 'Nobody is going through the damn thing, Captain. Just follow your orders. Understood?'

'Understood, sir.'

'Dismissed.' West said curtly.

Sam knew the tone from years of living with her father never mind her time in the Air Force. She'd pushed as far as she could for the time being. She stood up, tucking the briefing folder under one arm and came formally to attention before executing a perfect about-turn and walking out.

She stormed down to her quarters and had the satisfaction of slamming the door hard behind her.

Damn, damn, damn.

She shrugged out of her jacket and uncaringly tossed it and the folder on the bed. She was never going through the Stargate if West had his way.

A sharp rap on the door had Sam hastily grabbing her jacket and smoothing it out even as she called for the visitor to enter.

Catherine stepped into the room with a welcoming smile. 'Samantha.'

'Catherine!' Sam tossed her jacket down again and took a couple of quick steps over to hug the older woman. 'They told me you'd resigned.'

Catherine squeezed her hard before she inched back and examined Sam's face. 'I have. I was about to leave when I heard you were in the Mountain.' Her lips twisted. 'They brought you in to head the team testing other symbol combinations, yes?'

'Yes.' Sam sighed and moved back towards the bed and the abandoned folder. 'Theoretically, it doesn't make sense for the ring to have so many symbols and for it to only go to the one planet. Of course, many things can change spatially over time so…' her voice trailed off and she sat on the bed; the scratchy blanket rough beneath her hand. 'Not that I have any chance of going to another planet; West's made that painfully clear.' She glanced back across at Catherine with a frown. 'Did you know when they transferred me that it was going to work?' She tried to keep the note of accusation out of her voice and wondered how successful she'd been.

'I hoped Doctor Jackson would be successful,' Catherine replied swiftly, 'but I could not be certain.' She sighed and walked over to sit on the bed beside Sam. 'Truthfully, I don't think the General believed that Doctor Jackson would get it to work. It was made clear to me that Daniel's involvement was going to be the last approved attempt.'

'I can't believe we missed something so obvious.' Sam admitted abashed. The solution to the seventh symbol had been there in front of them all along.

'Sometimes another pair of eyes is required to see the wood among the trees.' Catherine agreed wryly. 'Imagine _my_ chagrin, Samantha. I've been working on this almost all of my life.'

'I should have gone with them.' Sam sighed, her mouth twisting with remembered frustration.

Catherine reached out and tucked a lock of Sam's hair behind her ear. 'I'm just as pleased you didn't go, Samantha.' Her face clouded with grief. 'They lost so many.'

Sam felt the blush heat her entire body. God, she was selfish. All she'd done since she'd read the briefing documents had been to think of her own situation and not the loss of lives; the loss of good men and an entire planet. She weaved her fingers through Catherine's atop the bed. 'I'm sorry. About Doctor Jackson.' She bit her lip. 'I wish I could have met him. I think I would have liked him.'

'I think he would have liked you too.' Catherine said with a small smile. She fingered her gold amulet with her free hand. 'But it's clearly very dangerous out there. Jack…Colonel O'Neill was adamant about that and it is the reason why the military have taken control of the project.'

Sam's eyes widened as her mind gathered the available evidence and made the connections. 'This test…it's a threat analysis, isn't it? They're not testing to see if we can go anywhere else, they're testing to make sure nobody else can use the Stargate to come here.'

Catherine's fingers tightened on hers. 'You always were smart, Samantha.'

'West told me there wouldn't be any further missions, I thought he was saying it to put me off because he doesn't have any intention of sending _me_ through.' Sam let her disappointment bleed through into her words, knowing the other woman would understand. 'This is such a waste. I know it's dangerous and I can understand the Colonel's recommendation given the technological level of the…the alien he came across but surely it would be best if we were out there exploring and finding allies and technology rather than simply waiting for them to come to us.'

'I wouldn't give up hope yet.' Catherine murmured. She smiled at Sam's questioning look. 'I've suggested if the test fails that they look into alternate uses. Perhaps time travel?'

Sam's face creased in confusion. 'There's nothing to suggest that the device can be used in such a way although the wormhole clearly must warp space-time as we know it in order for instantaneous transport to occur and…'

Catherine laughed.

Sam stopped another blush adding colour to her cheeks. 'Sorry, I get so caught up.'

'I don't blame you.' Catherine said with enough indulgence that Sam's blush deepened. 'You remind me of me when I was young.'

'I take that as a great compliment.' Sam said sincerely.

Another rap on her door interrupted them and Sam got to her feet to answer the summons. A nervous Airman stood on the other side.

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but I have orders from General West to escort Ms Langford from the Mountain.'

Sam's lips tightened. 'That's Doctor Langford, Airman, and I'll escort her myself.'

'Sorry, ma'am, but the General was very specific.' The Airman swallowed nervously.

'It's alright, Samantha.' Catherine said behind her. She got to her feet gracefully and walked over to hug her goodbye.

Sam let the older woman's hug comfort her for a long moment.

Catherine stepped back and held Sam's gaze. 'Your time will come, Samantha. I believe that. You just have to believe that too.' She smiled. 'Take care of yourself.'

'You too, Catherine.'

Sam watched her walk away with the Airman beside her, down the corridor until they disappeared from view. She closed the door and rested her forehead against it momentarily. She pushed off and made her way back to the bed.

Her stomach rumbled and she grimaced. She should head to the mess for some dinner and then go to the control room to start putting together the first list of symbols. It would make sense to try different combinations of the Abydos symbols first before they attempted others.

Her eyes fell on the folder. She picked it up again and thumbed through until she reached Colonel O'Neill's report. She'd read it several times already, fascinated by the sparse yet descriptive prose as he'd detailed the Abydonian civilisation; the alien known as Ra. Whatever he had intended his sense of awe and wonder had seeped through the dry commentary.

Disappointment fluttered through her again at having missed out on the mission yet her disappointment seemed petty after Catherine's reminder of the men who hadn't made it back. She settled back on the bed and started to read again, once more to honour those who had gone and not come home.

o-O-o

 _Now_

'Please, please, please, I am begging you and you know that under normal circumstances I don't beg but I am on my knees, alright not on my literal knees because then you couldn't see me down the camera but on my metaphorical knees and…'

'McKay, take a breath.' Sam ordered, torn between outright amusement at McKay's pleading expression and annoyance.

'Sam, have I ever asked you for anything? No, don't answer that,' he pointed a finger at her as she opened her mouth to say yes, 'OK, I mean I ask you for things and for input and for supplies and, thank you by the way for the chocolate that you sent because you know, chocolate, and yes, I know it wasn't just for me but I know it was you who sent it and…' he snapped his fingers, 'sorry, sorry, I'm prevaricating, it's just…I can't do _this_.'

This being supporting the Prometheus on her flight home to Earth from Tagrea, Sam mused.

'It's a spacecraft! It's like a flying box of death!' McKay was oblivious to the look of horror crossing the face of the Marine stood beside him by the stationary MALP they'd placed on the planet. The Marine no doubt was scheduled to travel home on the Prometheus too.

'A flying box of death that you helped design and build, Rodney.' Sam pointed out sweetly.

'Yes, yes, genius here! But I am a theoretical astrophysicist. I wouldn't have gone through the Stargate if you hadn't pushed me.' McKay retorted. 'You've done the whole flying through space thing before; I haven't.'

Sam smiled. 'Are you admitting that there's something the great Rodney McKay can't do but I can?' She teased.

McKay's glare was a thing of beauty. 'Ronson doesn't even want me; he wants you and if it wasn't for his and O'Neill's pissing contest you'd probably already be assigned to the flight. And besides you and I both know that my time would be better spent getting up to speed with the Dadaelus project and seeing what the morons have come up with rather than babysitting the Prometheus through space.'

'And by morons I assume you don't mean the Asgard.' Sam pointed out dryly.

'Exactly! Shouldn't we have our best people working with them?' McKay stabbed a finger at the camera.

'And by best people you mean you.' Sam sighed. It had been a long day and she was tired. Her arm ached with phantom pain the healing device couldn't seem to deal with and her body was stiffening up as her muscles reminded her that she wasn't twenty-one anymore. No wonder her Dad had begged off dinner and headed for bed early after he had healed her. He wasn't a young man and neither was symbiote.

'Of course I mean me.'

McKay's lack of humility rubbed at Sam and reminded her too much of her first encounter with him when his work and attitude had effectively sentenced Teal'c to death in the Stargate buffer. But he had earned her professional respect since and she couldn't deny he was a genius; a pain in the ass but a genius. It was just on a personal level, most of the time, he still acted like an arrogant jerk with the social skills of a skunk instead of the weirdly vulnerable and likeable guy she sometimes glimpsed underneath. She wondered what would need to happen for the scales to shift and the balance go the other way.

'Look,' McKay's suddenly hesitant voice snapped her out of her thoughts, 'I have a small, tiny, miniscule really, problem with claustrophobia…'

Of course he did, Sam thought wearily.

'…and I seriously don't think it's, ah, a good idea for me to trapped in a confined space for the duration of the flight back to Earth because apart from anything, what use am I really going to be if they get into trouble and I'm freaking out because, you know, flying box of death!' He looked at her with the same begging expression that he had begun the call with.

The Marine beside him was looking more sympathetic.

Sam fidgeted with the pen she was holding. McKay had a point and it wasn't as though she didn't want to accompany the Prometheus home. The spacecraft was just as much her baby as it was McKay's – and that was a seriously disturbing thought.

'Please!' McKay begged.

'I'll talk to the Colonel.' Sam held up her hand before McKay could say anything more. 'I can't promise you I'll be able to change his mind. I do have other important work here, McKay.'

'Please, like O'Neill is seriously going to deny you anything once you bat those baby blues at him.' McKay replied.

She raised her eyebrow at him; anger tightening her jaw.

McKay's own baby blues widened in belated realisation of what he had said. 'Not that I meant…that is…I wasn't implying anything inappropriate or anything…just that if you asked _me_ for anything I know I couldn't resist a woman with your…' he sketched out a well-endowed curvy female form.

'McKay.' Sam said sharply. 'Anymore comments and I'll come through the wormhole and kick your ass, understood?'

McKay looked suitably abashed. The Marine beside him was trying not to laugh.

'Right. Sorry.' McKay shuffled. 'So…'

'I'll talk to the Colonel and get back to you.' Sam repeated tersely. 'And McKay? You owe me big time.' She cut the connection before McKay could reply. She let out a huff of breath and turned off her monitor.

It was OK, Sam reminded herself. McKay didn't really mean to imply that there was something inappropriate going on between her and the Colonel; that the Colonel – Jack – would give her anything if she asked. She rolled her eyes at that thought because Jack had never once let his friendship or past feelings for her influence his decisions.

Past feelings.

Were his feelings really past? There had been some moments lately that her questioning that; the way he had looked at her when he had informed her he was going after Daniel, the invitation to lunch the day before…

She covered her face with her hands and rubbed her eyes tiredly. Wishful thinking, she told herself briskly. The Colonel didn't feel _that_ way about her anymore. She just wanted to think he did because she was still in love with him. But if he was…

She shook herself briskly and began the procedure to back up and shut down her computer. She should grab some dinner and go to bed. Her Dad was determined to make her go through with healing Daniel's leg first thing so they could all go to the Alpha site to get started on the Telchak device.

'Hey.'

Sam started at the sound of the Colonel's voice. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at the sight of him framed by her doorway, his hands in the pockets of his BDU pants.

His dark eyes twinkled at her. 'Since we missed out on lunch, I was thinking dinner?'

'Sounds good, sir.' Sam replied, refusing to acknowledge the way her heart had sped up; the sense of anticipation that fizzed through her veins. It was dinner in the mess not a date, she rebuked herself mildly.

She slid off the stool and fell into step beside him as they walked down to the elevator.

'How's your arm?' Jack waved at it expansively.

'It's fine.' Sam said automatically.

He held her gaze knowingly and she cursed her fair skin when a tell-tale blush heated her cheeks.

'Aches a little.' She conceded. 'The healing device never quite seems to get that.'

'And your head?' Jack pressed, concern darkening his expression.

'Good to go, sir.' Sam shrugged. 'It was a small bump. I wasn't even unconscious for very long.'

'You're not really supposed to be unconscious for any length of time.' Jack pointed out dryly. He ushered her out and the next few minutes were spent choosing their meals.

Sam smiled when Jack took the glass of red jello and placed the blue on her tray. So he knew her preferences; so did half the base; it meant nothing.

They sat down and began eating.

'Sir, I was hoping to talk to you about the Prometheus.' Sam began, cutting into the steak she had chosen and frowning when she had to saw at the tough meat.

Jack swapped their knives and carried on eating the stew he had gone for. 'What about the Prometheus?'

Sam looked up at him and sighed at the patently false look of innocence on his face. 'You know McKay has requested I replace him as the technical expert on the journey home.'

'And you want to go.' Jack surmised with a frown.

'McKay has claustrophobia; he has no real practical experience of space travel; he's only ever been off-world to Tagrea to oversee the rebuild.' Sam listed out patiently. 'He's brilliant but he's not the best qualified.'

Jack's lips twisted. 'You're needed to work on this Telchak weapon.'

'The Prometheus isn't scheduled to leave Tagrea until Friday. I'll have two days to work with my Dad and Selmak before I need to leave for Tagrea. I can gate straight there from the Alpha site and if the flight goes to plan I'll be back here in two days.' Sam clarified. 'To be honest, Selmak is more qualified than I am to work on the weapon. I'm sure my absence won't adversely impact the development of it.'

'I don't like the idea of you going off alone on the Prometheus.' Jack blinked as though he was surprised that he'd said the words out loud.

She tried hard not to assume that it was a matter of trust; he did trust her, she knew that. He had let her plan the trap for the super soldier; given her command of the mission to Tarturus although commanding her Dad, Bra'tac and Teal'c hadn't so much been about leading them as not letting them overwhelm her with their experience.

'Well, I wouldn't be all alone, sir,' she pointed out instead, trying to inject some humour, 'I would be with the rest of the crew.'

Jack shot her a look. 'It never works out well when a member of this team goes off alone. Look at Daniel; he got kidnapped, tortured and shot.'

Sam winced.

'I'm just saying I'd be happier if SG1 could come with you.' Jack completed, gesturing with his fork and sending tiny drops of gravy over the table between them.

'I'd be happier if you all came with me too, sir.' Sam allowed because it was the truth.

Jack grimaced as he swallowed. 'Somehow I don't think Colonel Ronson is going to go for that.' He gazed at her for a long moment. 'You really think you're needed for the trip?'

'I think so, sir.' Sam said. 'All the reasons for our participation on the shake-down cruise still apply. McKay even admits I'm the best qualified for the job.'

'Well, if _McKay_ thinks so…' Jack quipped sarcastically but he squirmed at her chiding look and sighed. ' _I_ _know_ you're the best qualified, Carter. There's no-one more qualified.'

'Thank you, sir.' Sam felt a flush of warmth at the praise.

For a second their gazes caught and held. Sam found she couldn't look away and there was something in his expression…something…

He dropped his eyes to his food. 'I'll talk to Hammond.'

Sam nodded, knowing that if the Colonel had dropped his objection, it would be unlikely that the General would prevent the temporary assignment. She sneaked a look at the Colonel. His attention was on his food and she took in the deep lines on his face and the shadow under his eyes. He was tired. Her heart ached a little at the thought.

They were all tired, Sam mused. Learning of Anubis's army of super soldiers had been disheartening. She only hoped the Telchak device could be turned into some kind of weapon to defeat them otherwise the fight against the Goa'uld was going to be hopeless.

'It's going to be OK, Carter.' Jack said softly.

Her eyes flew up to meet his. She tried a smile. 'That obvious?'

'That you're thinking about Anubis's new toys?' Jack nodded. 'Yep.'

'You didn't see them, sir.' Sam shivered at the memory of the sheer crowd of super soldiers bowing down before Anubis. 'There're so many of them.'

Jack shrugged. 'His only advantage is that they can't easily be killed, right? So, you and Dad will work out a way to kill them and that'll be that.'

'You really believe that?' Sam blurted out.

'I do.' Jack smiled at her and pointed with his fork at her plate. 'Eat your food, Carter. It's getting cold.'

Sam smiled back at him and gestured. 'So, Doctor Lee said something about a zombie?'

Jack smirked at her. 'You're just jealous, Carter.'

'Absolutely, sir.' Sam shot back at him.

He began to recount the tale of finding Daniel and Sam listened to him eagerly; his voice and the familiarity of his dry commentary settling around her like a warm blanket, easing the last of the tension of the day out of her body. She ignored the warning voice in her head; the one that told her she was too close; that she shouldn't love him; shouldn't hope that he loved her.

He grinned at her, looking at her with so much affection that she blinked before she smiled back at him, her stomach suddenly filled with butterflies. But then his expression shifted again so swiftly into the more familiar smirk he wore that she wondered whether she had seen anything at all.

Sam bit her lip. Maybe some time away from her CO would be good. She could use the time on the Prometheus to get some distance again; get her wishful thinking under control. And maybe she could use the time to consider what she really wanted; she'd been restless in the past months, seeking something but she wasn't sure what. She looked over at the Colonel and sighed inwardly. Or maybe, Sam thought with a sudden burst of honesty, the problem was that she knew what she wanted, she just knew she couldn't have it.

fin.


End file.
